Women Empowerment and Declining Moral Values

Enchanting slogans of modernity and women empowerment are enheartened at all levels in our
society. No society can ameliorate unless its women don’t fervently have a hand in all the
spheres of life. The societies which don’t let women unfold their credentials and make
independent decisions are liquidated. The women must take into account the social fabric, norms
and moral values of the society while taking independent decisions. With the emergence of social
media, slogans of women empowerment and rights of women have been seen to a greater extent
which warranted women to take more decisions independently especially the decision of
choosing their life partners. Asserting the right of this decision challenges the traditional
Pakistani patriarchal society. In liberal segments, this decision is accepted to some extent if the
parents find the person to be befitting and prudent for their daughter. But in rigid and
conservative segments girls become rebellious and prefer to elope when they are unable to break
the stereotype of freewill marriage. In some conservative segments, the rebel girls are even shot
dead but this apprehension doesn’t halt them from taking the bold step of eloping. Things are
changing, the girls are becoming bolder, they are continuously taking steps, they aren’t afraid to
die. They know that they will be killed but even then they are taking these steps because they
can’t conform to the values of their parents. They are girls of the modern age, said the former
resident director of Aurat Foundation. The same thing happened in recent Dua Zahra’s case. Dua
Zahra is a teenage girl from Karachi. She went missing on April 16 after she had gone to dispose
of garbage. Her parents filed a case on April 16 in Sindh High Court of her abduction and her
parents claimed that she was 14 years old. But two days later, she brought to light that she had
eloped from home to get hitched to 21 years old Lahore based Zaheer Ahmad. Her act shattered
her parents and they requested SHC to get their daughter recovered because she gave that
statement of marriage under duress and she had been abducted by Zaheer. Cutting the long story
short, Due Zahra along with her husband appeared in SHC on June 06 and she disclosed to the
court that she wasn’t abducted but she had wedlocked Zaheer with her will. The court ordered to
determine her age and in the medical report it was revealed that she was between 16 and 17
years. The court’s decision was startling. The court authorized Dua Zahra to fix upon her fate
who she wanted to live with. The court didn’t toss around the fact that minimum age for marriage
is 18 years in law and less than 18 is considered as child marriage which is banned. Then how
the court could expect Dua Zahra to make a wise decision in an age which is considered as the
age of mistakes. But we can hope that everything would flow in the right manner and God forbid
Dua might not have to face any repercussions of this decision in her later life. Every person
makes mistakes in his teenage years but if a person doesn’t learn from his teenage mistakes, he
has to face the repercussions in his later life. Dua Zahra is just a single case which got limelight
through social media and news channels. There are numerous cases which are not reported and
the girls who elope from homes for freewill marriages are left abandoned by the persons for
whom those girls put their lives at risk. These girls are left at the mercy of this ruthless society
after the charm of the honeymoon period gets over and the hardships of life get started. The
causes of elopement though not new, are on the rise due to increase in awareness of women
rights, women education, the way the unbridled social media displays the unscrutinized and
unrealistic content of couple goals, consumer market, and globalization. On the other hand, the
gap of communication between children and parents is getting wider due to which children are
unable to share their feelings with their parents especially the daughters. Living in a patriarchal
society, parents while choosing a life partner enforce decisions on their daughters without
considering their consent which paints a bleak picture and daughters become rebellious and find
it better to elope from home for freewill marriage. Parents do so because of the prevailing caste
based marriage system and status quo. So, there are lacunas in parenting as well. On the other
hand, the responsibility lies with the courts as well. If child marriages or marriages less than 18
years of age are banned then why serious action is not taken against such incidents? In our
country, it seems that laws are formulated just to preserve them like holy scriptures in the law
books because they are not implemented in true essence. There is no justification of child
marriages or forced marriages at any stage. These marriages should be declared null and void
regardless of the fact that it is through forced or free will. Besides this, marrying a person of their
own choice is a basic human right but before exercising this right, the girls should keep in mind
the doomsday scenario as well because the repercussions are quite serious. In the early stages of
freewill marriage life seems to be an unending honeymoon but with the passage of time when
conflicts arise on even trivial matters, then the girl is left with no option except repentance. In
many cases, the person for whom a girl becomes a rebel eventually turns out to be an abusive
husband after some period of time. He uses violence against her wife and gives a very absurd
reason for his act by saying that; “ You betrayed your parents, you can betray me as well and
elope with someone else”. At this moment, she finds herself in a stranded ship in the ocean when
this freewill marriage eventually ends up. All the doors are closed for her. She finds no one to go.
If she tries to come back home, she is garnered with such remarks that; “ you are dead for us and
we will assume that you were never born”. Then either she commits suicide or falls into the hell
of prostitution to find refuge. Some girls are killed in the name of honor in conservative
segments like rural Sindh and remote areas of Southern Punjab. But if freewill marriage isn’t
derailed the couple is tempted to be forgiven if they would come back. But they are shot dead.
These killings called karo-kari in Sindhi culture remain a constant threat for girls entering into
freewill marriages. Such cases aren’t even prosecuted because the killer gets escaped when the
family members don’t follow the case. 128 women were killed in Sindh province in the name of
honor in 2021, while 90 women were killed in Punjab province between July-December 2021.
According to the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan(HRCP), more than 470 cases of “honor
killing” were reported in Pakistan in 2021. The statistics eventuate a formidable and horrendous
picture of the situation. The need of the hour is to preserve our familial and moral values which
are being degenerated keeping in view the basic human rights and women empowerment as well.
Though freewill marriage isn’t a crime, the girls and their parents should bridge up the
communication gap and if parents find a person responsible and morally strong then they should
value their daughter’s choice. The girl shouldn’t abandon their parents for a guy who she met a
few days/months ago. The state machinery should also come into action against the unrealistic
and unscrutinized content on social media and T.V series. The need of the hour is to preserve our
degenerated moral and familial values so that we might not fall into a blind well if this culture of
elopement continues.
Rai Ahmad Kamal,
House # 863, J 2, Johar Town, Lahore.
Graduated from University of Agriculture, Faisalabad with an Engineering degree. Freelance
writer and I have an interest in writing mostly on issues of politics, economy, International
Relations and Pakistan’s Foreign Policy.
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0308-7494761